I didnt want to admit that I was in a toxic gym environment. I kept telling myself, “It’s ok, just a few more years.” I would build myself up, and a short time after, I would be back to where I was before.
As I look back at it now, I am so happy my hormones went out of wack because thats when the true colors really started to show.
My body had an adverse reaction to birth control and my mental state was extremely damaged (depression and anxiety attacks daily, sometimes 4-5 times a day, crying, feeling worthless, feeling like everyone was out to get me). It wasn’t until I was in therapy that the toxicity became recognizable. My acknowledgement of my eating disorder surfaced and after a few months I started to see my own worth. I never asked for any special treatment, I asked for mentoring. Teach me the ways. I wanted to learn and grow. But I never got any of that and I know why now: I didn’t fit the vision. I was never a part of the vision.
As part of my self care to help in my recovery process of my ED, I got the idea to smash the scale. All at once things started to click! I scheduled a photoshoot to capture that most amazing day of breaking the patriarchy! It wasn’t until then did things started to change for me. Boundaries were set, My JAMM was slowly coming together as a reality, and I really started to live my mission!
I finally gained enough confidence to break off on my own, and I’m so glad so did! And right before Covid too! My clients came with me because we all believe in our cause: changing the face of the fitness industry!
Who are folks to say what a “fit” body looks like, well look at this one! Because, “I AM FIT AF!”. It nice to know I can bench press any super model!
My JAMM is the outcome off all my experiences in the toxic gym environment and has shaped me of who I am and what I’m about. I can’t wait to show folks how strong they are, and what it looks like to find joy in moving their body!
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