All Aboard the Hot Mess Express

Fibroids, menopause, medical appointments, and the unexpected homework that comes with preparing for surgery.

Well, apparently I've booked myself a one-way ticket on the Hot Mess Express, and holy shit, what a ride it's been. I'm preparing to go under anesthesia for the first time, and I had absolutely no idea how much work goes into getting ready for a medical procedure. Between the appointments, testing, scheduling changes, and my body apparently having its own opinions about everything, it's been a lot. And I haven't even had the procedure yet.

So, here's what's going on. I have very large fibroids on the back wall of my uterus that have been causing me a lot of pain and suffering, and I'm preparing for a hysterectomy. But before that happens, I need a hysteroscopy because my uterine lining is measuring 11 mm. My medical team wants to rule out abnormal or cancerous cells before moving forward. I understand why they're being thorough, and I'm grateful for that, but apparently getting to the part where we finally address the pain involves a few more steps than I anticipated.

And while all of this is happening, I'm still trying to run my business, work with clients, train, and keep up with everyday life. Throw in some serious exhaustion, brain fog, and appointments that keep changing, and you've got one hell of a combination. I'm looking forward to the possibility of finally getting some relief, but right now I'm just trying to keep track of what I'm supposed to do next.

Apparently, Getting Put Under Comes With Homework

I was expecting some instructions. Maybe a little paperwork. What I wasn't expecting was what feels like an entire college course in preparing for anesthesia. An EKG, blood work, appointments, stopping vitamins, supplements, and certain medications. Every time I think I've completed an assignment, another one shows up. At this point, I'm half expecting someone to hand me a study guide.

And then there's the scheduling. I have clients, a business to run, training, and an actual life outside of medical appointments. But apparently, none of that matters when an appointment gets moved at the last minute. Suddenly, I'm rearranging my calendar, contacting people, and trying to explain why something has changed when I wasn't the one who changed it in the first place.

That's the part that really gets me. From the outside, it can look like I'm the one who doesn't have my shit together. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to coordinate a moving target. I can be flexible, but I'd love for flexibility to occasionally be a two-way street.

Apparently, There's Homework for Recovery Too

As if the pre-surgery checklist wasn't long enough, apparently there's homework for recovery before I've even had the surgery. Stay active. Eat nutritious foods. Give your body what it needs to support healing. Okay, that part I can get behind. I'm still working with my coach, moving when I have the energy, and making sure I'm eating enough to keep myself well nourished. No magic foods, no elaborate rules, and definitely no need to turn preparing for surgery into some ridiculous wellness challenge. The goal is to give my body the support it needs to heal, not win an award for being the perfect patient.

But here's the kicker. I'm being encouraged to stay active now, and after my hysterectomy, I'm looking at 12 weeks without lifting anything heavy. TWELVE WEEKS! I understand the reasoning, and I'm not planning to argue with my medical team, but come on. I love lifting heavy shit. I love working with my coach, getting under a barbell, and seeing what my body can do. So yes, I'll take recovery seriously, follow the restrictions, and figure out what movement looks like as I heal. But I reserve the right to be a little annoyed about the whole thing.

The Part I Wasn't Expecting

Here's the thing. It's not like I've never been under anesthesia before. I had ACL surgery back in 1994 and my wisdom teeth removed in 1999. So technically, I've done this before. But apparently, anesthesia preparation has gotten a whole lot more complicated since the '90s, or I've conveniently forgotten everything that went into it. Honestly, either possibility seems reasonable at this point.

What I don't remember is needing this many appointments, tests, instructions, and calendar adjustments just to get to the procedure itself. Maybe things were different back then. Maybe I was younger and somebody else was handling more of the logistics. Or maybe my brain has simply decided that information wasn't worth keeping for the last 27 years.

Either way, I'm finding myself in unfamiliar territory. I know I've been under anesthesia before, but I don't remember much about the experience, and preparing for it now feels completely different. I can ask questions, follow instructions, and trust my medical team, but apparently there's no way to fast-forward through the administrative obstacle course. If there is, somebody please tell me where to find that option.

The Complicated Part

Then there's the hysterectomy itself. I'm looking forward to the possibility of finally living without the pain these fibroids have been causing. I've been dealing with it long enough, and the thought of getting some relief is pretty damn exciting.

But I also know there may be grief mixed in with that excitement. I don't know exactly what that will look like, and I'm not interested in deciding how I'm supposed to feel before I've even been through it. It's surgery. It's a change to my body. And it's something I haven't experienced before.

I can want this surgery and still have complicated feelings about it. I can look forward to relief and still wonder what the experience will bring up for me. I'm not going to turn that into some inspirational lesson about strength or resilience. Sometimes things are just complicated, and I'm okay with leaving it at that for now.

And I Haven't Even Had the Procedure Yet

After all this preparation, you'd think I'd at least know what time I'm supposed to show up. Nope. Apparently, that's information I'll receive the day of the procedure. Nothing like a little last-minute suspense before your first experience with anesthesia.

I know the hysteroscopy is an important step toward getting some answers and, hopefully, moving closer to a life without the pain these fibroids have been causing. I'm ready to get on with it. Or at least I will be once somebody tells me when to arrive.

Until then, I'll be over here aboard the Hot Mess Express, wondering if somebody forgot to send me the syllabus. And at this point, I'd really appreciate knowing whether there's going to be a final exam.

For those of you who've been through a procedure requiring anesthesia, what surprised you most about the preparation? Because I certainly wasn't expecting all of this.